My son. Oh, incredible morning. I mean, it was already going to be an incredible morning, but today especially so. You know why? Because I asked Edwina out and you know how I knew her name? Well, cause I asked for it.
Let me give you the backstory. So me and the old man take a walk every morning at 6:00 AM, which at this time of year, is roundabout sunrise.
And every so often and this is because a lot more people are walking, we run into this girl. This girl, her mother and father and two dogs, and we always say, hello, good morning, smile and keep walking. And just put it this way, and not just, I mean she is. She's stunning, beautiful. We’re talking a smile that could light up a thousand dark night skies.
I’ve been thinking in the back of my head. You know what? I want to ask this girl on a date. And so a few more mornings go by, say hi, say good morning, see the smile, oh the smile, all standard procedure.
You're probably thinking, did this thought stick around, this idea of asking her out? You bet it did. Until I decided. Finally I decided. Last night, I told myself. The next time I see her, I’m going to ask her out.
And so that’s what I did. We were standing on the side of the pavement on the grassy patch, me, the old man, and another guy, Terry, who we usually see in the mornings doing bending exercises and such and we stopped for a chat like we do. Terry's latest investment is in a customisable funeral home. The kind of company who if it's your last wish for your ashes to be shot out of a cannon facing true north, they'll set it up. $2.30 per share is cheap he thinks. At least $4.00 this time next year he says.
Anyway, we see Edwina and her family walking past.
It turns out that they're from Manchester, I didn’t know that either until I asked. They keep walking past, I wave, say good morning, but the old man, Terry and I are still standing on the grass going over the pros and cons of non-traditional funerals. And I think, you know what? I promised myself.
I interrupt Terry and tell the old man, hold the dogs, I’m going to go ask this girl out and start running off after them.
On the way I start giving myself a pep talk.
Straight for them. Keep going. Don’t let your mind think. Just do it. Just do it.
I get close enough to be heard and start speaking.
Excuse me, I say between footsteps and breaths.
They turn around and I keep talking.
Sorry to interrupt, this might seem a little strange and I don’t do it often, but I’ve seen you walking along here a few times and I think you’re beautiful.
I look into her eyes and ask.
Would you like to go on a date sometime?
She smiles and it fills me with the energy of 10 suns then starts speaking with a thick English accent.
Oh my gosh, I so would. I would say, yes, you’re amazing, oh... but...
She raises her hand.
I look closer and she keeps going.
But I'm not doing a very good job of showing it, am I?
I study her hand and there’s no ring but you can see the untanned outline of where a ring should be. I speak with a little laugh.
Looks like my observational skills aren’t that great.
We get into conversation. And the mother, the mother was perhaps more impressed than even the daughter. She leans in, and in an older, thicker English accent and starts speaking.
Charlie, you’re beautiful. She says. What you just did, took a lot of bollocks (English slang for balls).
Made my day, my son.
Anyway, that’s the trick. You just ask.