Facebook. Instagram. Facebook. Instagram. Facebook. Flipboard. Instagram. Roll over. Change hands. Flipboard. Facebook. Instagram.
I'd keep going until I fell asleep. Laying there until 2:00 am, 3:00 am. I became dependent on it. I couldn't sleep without it.
It was the same on the bus. Same in the lectures. Same whilst waiting in the supermarket line.
Wherever I was, I needed it. Needed a hit of information. Needed to know what people were up to. Did someone like my photo? What if there was a post I missed?
Too much of anything becomes unsustainable. And that's where it got to. I was consuming too much. No matter how much, the hole never filled.
I got off. Got off it all. Stopped letting the algorithms choosing what I'd see and started trying to make my own decisions. That's what I'd lost. The ability to make my own decisions. The ability to create my own works. The internet had done it all for me.
I went on an information diet. Sat on the bus and looked out the window. Laid in the bed staring at the ceiling. Drove the car with no radio. Went for runs with no headphones. Had coffee with my family and left my phone at home.
They started to come back. Thoughts of my own. Thoughts of what I wanted to do. New ideas. Ideas of my own. I listened.
I could focus more. Sit and stare at a blank page without getting distracted. Sit and talk to someone without looking at my phone. Sit there and make something to share with the world.
Then I realised. This is a diet I want to stick with. The best diets aren't diets at all. They're ways of living. That's what I'd found. A way to live with less.
Less information. More time with my own thoughts.