Betting on yourself

Yesterday I saw a dog off its leash trying to lift a stick that was three to four times its body length and as thick as its waist.

The dog tried from multiple different angles, moving its head, biting hard, biting soft, up one end of the stick down the other. All while shaking with excitement and disbelief it'd found a stick of such stature.

I walked towards its owner and smiled. His eyes watching on. I stopped and joined and we both watched. The dog kept trying and trying.

Even with the owner walking off, the dog didn't want to leave without the stick, not without giving it all.

The other day, I got offered to apply for a lucrative job. Big money big name big opportunities, all of it.

And I've decided not to.

Instead, I've decided to dedicate the entire energy of my being to one or two or three projects for the next year or two or three four five six.

Am I wrong?

Will I regret it in 10 years?

Who knows.

All I know is that I've got a gut feeling and I'm following it. Call it romance, call it what you want. But I'd rather lose chasing my soul than win selling it.

But is getting a job selling your soul?

No. Of course not. I've had many jobs. Sometimes they're required.

Enjoy them as much as I did, I knew deep down they weren't for me. I knew deep down I'd start my own thing one day, answer to no one except myself and those I seek to serve. I told my girlfriend at the time I'd never work full-time anywhere except for myself. She didn't like that. But it was true. I still haven't.

So after tussling with myself, well, not really since I knew the answer all along, I sent word to say I'd be passing on the offer.

I knew if I signed the contract, the whole time I would've known, I would've known I was going against my essence. The same feeling you get staring someone in the face and saying something that doesn't align with your faith.

Would've I done well there?

You bet. I've got that type of confidence about myself. Sure, there's doubts but recall all of those days you thought you weren't gonna make it, then remember all of the times you did.

But knowing I went against my gut, my subconscious might've prevented me from delivering my gifts, the ultimate sin.

You can make such choices any day you want.

The choice to be whoever you want to be.

The choice to create whatever you want to create.

For me, choosing to sign up for another job would be selling my soul.

Not because of the job itself.

But because I'd know I was going against my essence.

I agree with the notion every living creature deep down wants to give their all. A will to power.

Your nature wants you to not only pass on your biology but pass on your talents. Hence you feel most alive when you're giving your gifts to their full potential. And if you're not, other things will get in the way.

Many people, including past and current versions of me are or have been too afraid to listen.

To listen to the voice inside them, the one who sings about the gifts they have to share. The voice that tells them whether they're going with or against the wind.

Not the voice telling you to go for the short-term pleasure of touching the beautiful man or woman, to go out or stay in for dinner, to buy the latest gadget, the more important one reminding you of who you are before they told you who you are.

They're scared to dig deep and realise they're capable of reading and even more so, writing the books they'd like to read, making the shows they'd like to watch, crafting the furniture they'd like to sit on, growing the food they'd like to eat, programming the application they'd like to use instead of letting those dreams fall overboard.

Forget the clout forget the money (to a point, the starving artist is a nice narrative but unnecessary). There's always more. You'll find freedom using curiosity as a compass.

Like the dog going for the stick far too big for it. Even though its owner and I knew there was no chance it would get it, what a beautiful and encouraging sight it was to see it try.

Sell your soul or use it to fuel your most important creations?

It's ethical to create the most value you can in life.

Don't leave without giving it all.

Bet on yourself.